The Lily Rant
by Philomel A. B. Houtman
Summary: I don't usually get angry. When I get angry I go into what my friends call a 'Lily rant'" Poor Lily! Yet again, her tongue is two steps in front of her mind!


**The Lily Rant**

I am absolutely horrified and embarassed. I can't believe I just did that. I would try and close my eyes and pretend it's a dream, but that would probably make me look even more crazy.

By now, you're probably wondering what's going on. For you to understand, you need to know a few things.

1) I don't usually get angry.

2) When you interrupt my reading, I get irritated and/or frustrated.

3) When I do, people run for cover (well, the people who know me. The others don't know what they're getting into)

4) When I get angry _and_ frustrated (and/or irritated) at the same time, I go into what my friends call a 'Lily rant', in which I tend to yell everything going through my head without thinking about it. Which, in this case is the problem.

So, this is what happened.

I was quietly reading in a corner of the common room. Then my friend, Alice, yelled to me (irritating me):

"Lily! What are you doing?! We have two essays due for tomorrow that you haven't started yet!"

Oh no! I always forget those! I usually do all my homework last minute, which really irritates my friends when I usually get good grades. ANYWAY, back to the story.

Even if I do my homework last minute, this was not good. I panicked.

"Oh sh- shoot! I forgot!"

I ran to the table where she was doing her homework. And she was leaving.

"Alice! Where are you going?! You're supposed to help me!"

She rolled her eyes.

"Is that in the friendship contract?"

I was too edgy to notice she was joking.

"There's a friendship contract?"

She sighed in exasperation.

"Do your essays, Lily. I am going to sleep."

She left. Now, I was starting to get angry! She left me!

For the next three hours, I slaved over my essays, getting more tired every minute, thus making mistakes, thus making me very frustrated.

Finally, I started banging my head on the table.

"Lily, what are you doing?" came an amused voice.

A voice I would recognize anywhere.

I glared at James Potter.

"Leave me alone. I have one more essay to finish, and you just want to annoy me!"

He chuckled.

Making me more angry.

"If I wanted to annoy you, Lily, I would simply ask you out."

My eyes narrowed.

"Hey Lily?"

"What?"

"Do you want to go out with me?"

Then I snapped.

"James Potter! You arrogant-grrr! I can't even find the words! First, Alice comes and tells me to finish the essays, and leaves me alone. Then I slave for hours at these essays given by teachers bent on torturing us! And then, you, of all people, come down, and pretend to ask to go out with me, not knowing that since last year my feelings have changed, thus making me feel like a stupid lonely idiot! Because you just had to go and change! Why did you change? If you hadn't, I could have ignored you, and forgotten you for the rest of my life! But no, you become more mature, and then trick me into liking you! It's not fair! And now, you don't like me, so then I'm left to feel like a miserable little piece of- Why are you smiling?! Stop smiling!"

"So this is what Alice meant when she said you would go into a 'Lily Rant'" he said.

My temper faded.

"Alice said what?" I asked weakly.

"She told me she had set me up for a 'Lily Rant', and that if I asked you-jokingly- to go out with me, then you would start telling the truth. I didn't understand what she meant until now."

The color drained out of my face. I realised what I had said.

"Umm...I need to see Professor Slughorn!" I cried, gathering her things as rapidly as possible. Right, that excuse was going to work. It's midnight! Everyone in their right mind is sleeping!

His hands gripped mine, and turned me around. He was very close. I gulped. He lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. He was still smiling.

"Who said I didn't like you anymore?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but realised that I didn't know the answer. I had just assumed so.

He saw the look on my face, and the smile grew wider.

"Exactly."

We just stood that way for a while. Then, not being able to take it anymore, I asked:

"So...now what?"

"Well, I suppose you could be my girlfriend...if you don't mind?" he asked.

"Oh...sounds all right to me," I said, already kicking myself for the way I was acting...like a deer in the headlights.

"Only all right?" he asked, teasing.

I grinned.

"To be honest, I think it's absolutely fantastic!"

All right. Maybe I'm not so horrified and embarassed as I was before.


End file.
